They’re still looking, you know. And thus far I’ve not received a phone call. I guess it’s understandable at one level, but I don’t think they quite realize the uniqueness that I would bring to the role. Who wants another super handsome, ultra fit, uber-suave debonaire? We’ve had that. It’s time for a new iteration. Time for a Bond whose hair’s thinning a little, and who drinks coffee – stirred not shaken – and who considers fitness to be an option.

It’s hard to construct a Bond. I can think of some characters from the Book. Absalom for his looks. Joshua for his courage. Joab for his aggression. Jacob for his wits. Samson for his affections. Samson again for his muscle. Mordecai for his sass. Jonah for his endurance in extremity. And Jonathan for his sheer likeability. But it would have to be a mix of them all. Bond is a unique character.

We all look for a hero. And we fallen ones look for a hero in our own image. Hence Bond. But there is another who deserves to be considered. Not as a Bond, but as a hero. A man whose appearance was rugged and rough. A man whose character was strong and courageous, unquestionably good, and fiercely loyal. A man who was not afraid to go near death, nor even to bleed. Such a man has a name. Names, in fact. Seven of them start with “I am”. But there are double-o seven more.